Two Birth Stories for One Baby Boy

Guest Blogger Sara Saylor reflects on her adopted son's two birth stories today on his third birthday.

My son has two birth stories. One took place in a small village in Ethiopia. The other happened 8,324 miles away in Dallas, Texas.

Buturo was born in rural Ethiopia. As I listen to my friends talk about prenatal care, doulas and birthing plans, I think about my son’s first mother. I’ve tried to imagine the day he was born. I think of her pushing him into the world as the sun streamed through her thatched roof. Who was with her? A sister? A midwife? What did she think when she held his little, slippery body for the first time? What did she hope for him when she gave him the name Buturo, which means hard worker? Did she picture him becoming a farmer like his father? I can’t imagine she ever thought he’d grow up half a world away.

Around the same time Buturo took his first breath, my husband and I gave birth to our adoption plan. We had been through two painful miscarriages. It had rocked us to the core. Although I underwent numerous invasive tests to try to figure out why my body had failed me, there wasn’t a magic answer, no certain explanation. Maybe it was a clotting disorder. Maybe it was just bad luck. There was no reason not to try again, but we just couldn’t. It had been too hard, too heartbreaking. So we decided to adopt. The outcome seemed more certain. Eventually we’d become parents even if it took awhile.

So in January 2008, two mothers a world apart, held this new child in their hearts. She likely dreamed of a good life for him. And I dreamed of being there for a child who needed me. Buturo is celebrating his his third birthday today at our home in Ann Arbor, and we will not only celebrate his birthday, but we will also light a candle to honor the woman who gave him life.

Celebrating National Adoption Month: Toddler Group Valuable Experience for Mom and Son

Our first guest blogger is Sara Saylor, an Ann Arbor mom who's son, Turo, was born in Ethiopia. In this blog, she explains the benefits for both she and her son when they participated in Lamaze's Toddler Play Group.

When we joined our toddler class at Lamaze, my son, Turo, had only been home from Ethiopia for three months. He was trying to adjust to his new surroundings, new language and new family. I was trying to figure out how to parent a toddler. The warm, supportive environment we found at Lamaze helped us as we navigated our new lives as mother and son.

For Turo, the toddler class was a great space for him to explore and interact with other little ones. At first, Turo would zoom around the room without much purpose. He’d try something and move on to the next spot. But as he grew familiar with the routine, he began to feel comfortable playing and engaging with other kids. Once he realized this was a regular thing, he looked forward to going and would ask about class whenever we drove near the building.

I enjoyed the class because it gave me a chance to interact with other moms. Having a 21-month old who was born in another country, I worried about his development, attachment and language. It was reassuring to be in the company of other mothers who had been at this for at least a year and half longer than I. I appreciated their knowledge and experience as I bungled through those early months. I soon realized, however, that they had many of the same questions about their toddlers as I did. It was a bit of a relief to discover that motherhood can be challenging whether you’ve given birth or adopted your child. And as a stay at home mom, I looked forward to having other grown-ups to talk to during the day.

Six months later, Turo still looks at the little album his teacher gave him at “graduation.” As we look at the photos, I can’t help but think back to those early, unsure days and am grateful we were able to access the services of the Lamaze Family Center.